See me now?

23Jul14

The current, ongoing conversation in my house is about worldview.  Or views.  Just views.  Mine, His, Hers, Theirs, Ours.  My view versus Theirs… His view of My “Christian” university versus My view of His Christian college…

And BOOM.

I’ve said the “C” word and officially made this post either champion or victim to the online, Jesus-freak troll.  I know you’re out there.  I love you, but I kind of hate you too.  Call me Sister all you want.  Since I can’t hear your tone through your text, no way will I acknowledge virtual conviction… unless I already know your heart’s genuinely concerned about mine.  And THAT… takes touch.  (In person…)

If there was a way to count just views of my individual Facebook posts and Instagram pics, I wouldn’t want to hear a whisper of it.  There is no doubt the ratio of views compared to scarce likes and comments would mess with my already-established social media inferiority complex, which I know you have too… Unless you’re the sparkly chick whose life is just perf and spotless, countless crop top barbie group photos and all.  View count or naw, we’re all out here because of worldview, for a world to view.  Mirror that in real life, or express any concern about the world viewing YOU, and some people have a problem with it.  Some gods have a problem with it.

What do I have to say about the debate surrounding worldview, as opposed to… I don’t even know the word for it… God-view? Christian-view? Holy-view?  Now here’s where my low Bible IQ fails me.   I don’t know.  I do know that in writing, and spoken aloud, one side sounds a bit hierarchical to me.  The other, blasphemous as it sounds to a typical Christian’s connotative ear, has the word “world” in it.

If you feel me, I don’t have to directly say my point yet.  I’m being vague, I know.  So I’ll expand.

World. View. View of the world.  View by the world.  World… dictating, ruling, determining View.  That last one made you feel a shiver from your olive branch/dove tattoo all the way down to your ring finger promise band.  “Not of this world,” says the butt of your car.  Sure, your soul is definitely transcendent of the here and now of Earth.  I can say the same, but saying it does not make me feel above ANYONE I say it to.  I don’t have one of those bumper stickers because I prefer to be here, with my feet on the ground. “Not of this world” is somewhere up, up, up.  Above? Looking down? On who?  What world view is that?

My feet are on the ground, but the eyes of my heart are set elsewhere.  Do you think you know where?  Well, you don’t.  And you don’t know where the eyes of ANYONE else’s hearts are set, either.  There are secrets between the lowliest sinner or the purest believer, and the main Man– or even his dark henchman– that are never told.  Not even to a deaf man.  I’ll just say though, there is something “Not of this world” about me.  But I’ve had, have, and will always have a heart for this world.  Can you think of anyone with similar cardiology?  Do the words “thorns,” “nails,” or “Love” ring a bell for you?

There are people who would scoff if I said the eyes of my heart are set on high.  I don’t go to church these days.  I read more tweets than Bible passages.  Some would say I am consumed by a world view.  And I say, HELL… I mean, HECK yeah.  I’m viewing the world with eyes as wide as a chink can spread them, and loving it!  Not with the “love” of a one-night-stand, but with love that is as deeper and richer than a pint of porter brewed by Jesus himself.

I’m working multiple gigs these days.  I coach, I write, and occasionally play for a sport I love.  I thought I loved lacrosse, but didn’t know how vast that love could expand until I started coaching 11-year-olds, chatting with team parents, and watching the game like I do now.  Something in me feels something inexpressible for the odd-ball girl who makes her first dodge and goal, for the mom who pours herself into something worthwhile after slumbering in the plateau of housewife-hood, for the athlete who dominates at his first East coast event.  That’s my world, right now.  It’s getting bigger, and has potential to become anything from trivial to precious.  My heart still swells for it all.  And it’s because my view does not exclude, marginalize, or condemn any ounce of it.

I’m just trying to give you an example of how a “world” view can encompass a world of worlds.  Worlds that are not sinful.  Worlds that do not lessen the capacity of my heart, but gorge it instead, with a love that I still know will never amount to the love someone Else spared for me.

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